


Nighttime Oopsie-David

by dazedwriter



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Teasing, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:28:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27279502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dazedwriter/pseuds/dazedwriter
Summary: “Uh.” said David, confusion setting in. “I think I just had a wet dream?”Patrick laughed as David's face remained still. “Oh. You’re being serious.”ORWhat happens if David had a wet dream rather than nocturnal enuresis.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 4
Kudos: 109





	Nighttime Oopsie-David

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Schittsobsessed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schittsobsessed/gifts).



> This fic only happened because my friend Jodie messaged me one morning saying "Imagine if David had had a wet dream instead of wetting the bed." And thus the seed was planted. So, as this fic never would have happened without her, I have gifted it to her. 
> 
> Thanks to my beta diamond729!

_Mm, Patrick, that’s good._

David ran a hand through Patrick’s hair as his mouth wrapped firmly around David's hard cock. David encouraged him gently with his hand, moaning at every flick of Patrick’s tongue. He started thrusting his hips up automatically, searching for more. Patrick moved the hand that was on David's cock quicker as his mouth moved faster and faster, tongue lapping at David's cock with the expertise that came from years of knowing each other's bodies. 

_Patrick…_

David felt it build and build inside him, until he woke abruptly in a mild sweat. He blinked as he orientated himself. Patrick was beside him, still fast asleep and David could tell it was not quite daylight. David started to roll over but stopped, noticing a damp patch on his pajamas. He felt it. It was still warm and smelled like… _jizz_. Patrick awoke to David's movement, automatically snuggling in closer to him. David pulled back.

“What’s wrong?” Patrick asked.

“Uh.” said David, confusion setting in. “I think I just had a wet dream."

Patrick laughed as David's face remained still. “Oh. You’re being serious.”

“Yes, Patrick, why would I- nevermind. Something I never thought I’d be saying to you, but yes, I’ve had a nocturnal emission.”

Patrick stifled a laugh that turned into a short coughing fit. He had been sick with a cold for nearly a week now, so their sex life had been put on a David-mandated medical hiatus. _It’s incorrect to have sex while sick, Patrick,_ David had told him. Patrick couldn't see the difference when they slept in the same bed together anyway, but David insisted. Thankfully Patrick was nearly better now. His symptoms were mostly gone. 

“I don’t know what to say David. Is this when I sit you down and talk to you about the birds and the bees or…?” Patrick grinned.

“Oh shut up.” David laughed, pushing the blankets back and checking the sheets. Thankfully the mess was contained to his pants. "I honestly thought these days were behind me. Waking up covered in my own come."

“Do you remember the dream?” Patrick asked casually, as David moved to get up. 

David smiled. He remembered clearly and his eyebrows went up as he nodded, “Mmmm, you. Your mouth. On me.” David took his pants and underwear off, throwing them in the laundry hamper. 

“Oh. I like that. Where were we?” 

“Here. In bed. You were doing that thing with your tongue I really like.” David put on a fresh pair of boxer briefs before joining Patrick back in bed. It was far too early to get up as far as David was concerned.

“Mm I do like doing that to you.” Patrick said, cuddling closer to him. 

“Yes and you’re still sick remember, so none of that yet.” David kept his head pulled away at a safe distance.

“David, we’ve slept in the same bed all week. What’s the difference?" 

“The difference is we aren’t sharing bodily fluids by sharing a bed. You’re not well enough yet honey.”

“Ok, Dr. Rose. Whatever you say.”

“Hey! I’m the one who’s had the wet dream here. I should be the one desperate to get back in your pants.” said David, playfully nudging Patrick’s arm.

“How did it happen anyway? The wet dream.” Patrick kept one hand on David's arm, tracing it slowly. He kept the rest of himself away though. As much as every part of his body was telling him to get closer, David was right - he was still sick.

“What do you mean, how did it happen? We haven’t had sex in nearly a week?” 

“It’s called masturbation, David, maybe you should try it sometime.” Patrick teased.

David glared at Patrick with that little lopsided pout that Patrick loved so much. “I’m serious. I thought that’s what you were doing the other night when you took so long in the shower.”

“Well _someone_ decided that filling the humidifier with hot water _while_ I was in the shower was a good idea. You know the shower goes cold the moment a hot water tap is turned on. You stopped and started the tap so many times I had to restart my hair routine twice.”

“I’m sick, David, what did you expect. Did you want me to wait til you were out of the shower? And what, not be able to breathe for half an hour?”

“I know, I know, you wanted to breathe, I wanted to come, we all have our needs." David teased.

"Yes, we do have our needs…" Patrick trailed off, the hand that was tracing patterns on David's arm was slowly making its way down to David's briefs. 

David playfully slapped his hand away. "Patrick…" 

"Yes, David?" His wide eyes looking up at him with an air of innocence that David knew wasn't innocent at all. 

"You're still sick."

"I'm basically all better.” Patrick took a deep breath in and out. "See? Hardly any phlegm!"

David grimaced "Yes, you talking about phlegm is really doing it for me right now.”

Patrick laughed. "I think it's a good sign that I'm getting frisky." Patrick’s hand had stopped its descent down David's body and instead wandered over David's chest, running his fingers through the hair. "Shows I'm on the mend." 

"That it does. Still not willing to share bodily fluids with you though." 

"Fine. Might just have to lie here and masturbate then." Patrick teased, laying on his back and slowly sliding his hand under the waistband of his pajama pants. 

"Go ahead. Then I can finally go back to sleep." 

"You won't. If I lie here and touch myself, you know you'll join in. You won't be able to resist." 

"Hmm. True. But I also know that you've been doing a lot of sleeping since you've been sick and it is only…" David checked his phone for the time. He groaned "6:20am. You'll fall asleep before you even get your hand down your pants."

"Is that a challenge, David?" Patrick grinned.

"Maybe." David watched as Patrick slowly moved his hand down his body, meticulous in his movements. He was well aware that David was watching. "I'm going to the bathroom. If you're still awake when I get back, I may lend a helping hand." 

"Ok, David." 

David made his way to the bathroom as Patrick started making exaggerated moaning sounds.

"You're such a tease, Patrick." David said over his shoulder. He wasn’t willing to turn around and look. He knew one glance at Patrick with his hand wrapped around his cock was all it would take for David to completely forget his _no sex while sick_ rule and jump Patrick quicker than you can say “Cafe Tropical”.

"Thank you,” called Patrick, as David shut the door. David hung out in the bathroom longer than strictly necessary, banking on the fact that Patrick would be asleep when he got out. As much as he wanted to rip his underwear off and join Patrick in bed, he didn't want to get sick.

David finally wandered out of the bathroom and saw Patrick, fast asleep curled on his side with his hand still inside his pjs. 

~~~~~~

Patrick was still busy catching up on paperwork as David flipped the store sign to "CLOSED". Patrick had stayed home from the store for a couple of days when his cold had been the worst. He had been a reluctant patient and even though David had taken good care of him, he had been anxious to get back to work as soon as he could. Now that he was back, the paperwork had piled up. 

"I may need to stay back a bit, David. I want to get this all done tonight." 

"Just bring it home. You can work on it after dinner." David's stomach rumbled.

"Haven't we learned from that?" Patrick chuckled. Walking out from behind the counter and over to David. "Whenever I bring work home to finish, I end up getting distracted by you and I don’t get it done until the next day.”

"Well I am sorry to be so interesting, maybe you should learn to control yourself,” David’s fake apology as he placed his arms on Patrick’s shoulders made Patrick laugh.

"How about _you_ control _your_ self. It's not my fault how my body reacts when you're seductively parading yourself around the apartment in front of me." Patrick slowly ran his hands up David's back.

"What can I say, I like the effect I have on you."

Patrick smiled, his eyes looking longingly into David's. "I really want to kiss you, David. I've missed kissing you." 

"I know, I know. I've missed it too." 

"I mean, I've hardly blown my nose all day, and if you were going to catch this cold, you would have caught it by now…" Patrick trailed off, his hand running up and down David's arm. 

He had a point. And David _really_ missed kissing him. "Patrick."

"Yes?"

"I think it'd be ok if we kissed." David smiled, looking down into his fiance's now-wide eyes. Patrick didn't wait, wrapping his arms around David and pulling him into a deep kiss instantly. David sunk into the kiss, never wanting it to end. Patrick’s arms were all over David's back, clutching, as if he was trying to pull him even closer. As if nearly a week of no contact was nearly a week too long. He missed being wrapped up in Patrick’s arms. David placed his hands on Patrick’s hips and started slowly walking him back until Patrick’s ass was pressed up against the front counter. 

"We should. Probably. Stop." David muttered breathless, pulling back reluctantly. Patrick hummed as he leaned in to do anything _but_ stop the kissing.

David noticed Patrick rearrange the front of his pants. David teasingly ran one finger over the bulge.

"You know, I’ve heard that a good way to deal with that is masturbating. You should try it sometime." David loved throwing Patrick’s teasing words back at him. 

"Oh I have. A few times this week, actually."

" _A few times?!_ " 

Patrick nodded, “I consider it medically necessary.”

David shimmied a little and leaned in, "Patrick Brewer, you little sex fiend. Who knew my fiance would be this horny even while sick?"

Patrick laughed, “I'm not the one having wet dreams in my 30's”

David glared at him, before breaking into a small lopsided smile. He couldn’t even feign annoyance at Patrick. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

"Nope. Better get used to it.” Patrick laughed. 

David sighed. He didn’t mind Patrick’s teasing, in fact he quite enjoyed it and it often gave David a good opportunity to tease back. “Well, Patrick, anything I can do to stop it?” 

“Stop what? The wet dream? Masturbating helps." Patrick replied, stone-faced. 

“Well, Dr. Brewer…. you are apparently the expert,” David joked. “So are we going to keep playing doctor here, in the back room or go home for the follow-up exam?”

“Let’s make a deal. I’ll finish what paperwork I can while you grab us dinner at the cafe. Then we’ll go home. Sex may be off the table but we can both still masturbate.”

“Deal.” 

~~~~~~

David was just rinsing the conditioner from his hair as he heard the bathroom door open. 

As usual, Patrick’s timing was perfect. “Hey.” Patrick said softly, pulling back the shower curtain. “Ready for me to join you?”

“Mmmmm, yep,” David stepped toward the front to give Patrick more room. It had been a while since they had showered together and right now neither of them could remember why. Both of them were more than half-hard just at the prospect of being so close in the steamy warm shower. They stood close enough to enjoy the stream of water for a quiet minute until David spoke. 

“How does this sound: I help you get washed up and then we jack each other off. Like the fiance version of medically-important masturbation. You know, for science.” 

Patrick broke into a grin, placing his hands on David's hips and pulling him closer. "For science." Patrick kissed David, tenderly at first then with more intent. He reached one hand down for David's cock but David pulled back slightly and got back to business. David finished rinsing his hair before stepping aside and letting Patrick stand under the stream. David grabbed the soap, pumping some onto his hand before starting to wash Patrick’s chest and leaning just right to notice the familiar poke of Patrick’s erection against his hip. 

As the water rinsed the soap, David’s hands gently turned Patrick away from him so he could lather up his back, spending just a little too long on his lower back, thighs and ass. 

He could feel Patrick relaxing more with every passing minute. Maybe this _was_ the science Patrick needed to get better. 

He finally used shampoo on Patrick’s hair, letting his nails graze Patrick’s head in a relaxing scalp massage. He leaned forward and gently kissed the back of his neck, right where it met his shoulder and Patrick lazily turned back around to face David letting their cocks brush against each others’ skin until they were touching.

As David pecked a small kiss on the side of Patrick’s mouth, he said "Ok Dr Brewer, you’re the expert here," He took a step back, admiring the view of his very wet and very turned-on fiance "Go ahead," David nodded, "masturbate.'

Patrick smiled, taking his cock in his hand and stroking slowly. "Like this, David?" he teased, the head of his cock poking out from his hand invitingly. 

"Yeah, yep," said David, biting his lip, "like that."

Patrick continued to stroke himself, keeping his eyes fixed on David as he did. He mixed up his strokes between fast and slow, ensuring David never knew what he was going to do next. Every twist of his wrist, every tantalising slow pull caused David's breath to hitch. David making Patrick masturbate first was meant to be a way to tease Patrick after Patrick had teased him all day, but turns out he was the one being teased. Patrick kept his moans louder than necessary, allowing them to echo in the small shower space. The faster Patrick worked his cock and the louder his moans got, the more David wanted to collapse the space between them. David finally couldn't take it anymore. He pulled Patrick towards him hastily, bringing him in for a desperate, needy kiss. David pressed his hips up against Patrick, moaning as their cocks brushed against each other. Patrick took David's hard cock, stroking gently. David moaned again.

"So good." David muttered as he pulled away. "You feel so good." David rested his head on Patrick’s shoulders, enjoying the feeling of his fiance's tight hand wrapped around his cock. 

"Did you miss this?" Patrick said

"Yes. So much." David lifted his head, reaching down and taking Patrick in his hand too. He started slowly, building up faster to match Patrick’s steady movements. David was getting very close, very quickly. Combine that with the wet dream last night and he felt like a teenager all over again. 

David pulled back slightly, taking his hand off Patricks cock. "Patrick. I-"

Patrick pulled his hand away immediately, both of them catching their breaths. 

"I'm ridiculously close." David panted. 

Patrick reached down and started stroking his own cock. “OK. You take a break for a minute.” 

Patrick kept working his own cock and David couldn't pull his eyes away. He'd seen this so many times before, but there was just something about watching Patrick enjoy his own body that caused David to not be able to tear his eyes away. "This is not helping. I need to-to-" said David, putting his hand back on his own cock. 

"What do you need, David?" Patrick asked calmly, hand still stroking himself. 

"I need more." David said breathlessly. He pulled Patrick towards him, gently pushing Patrick’s hand off his cock before lining them up and taking both of them in his hand. They both moaned loudly at the touch, Patrick pulling David in for a deep kiss. David was stroking faster and faster until he was crying out Patrick’s name against his lips, spilling himself onto Patrick and down the drain, before collapsing into Patrick’s neck to catch his breath. He'd let go of his softening cock, but still kept a firm grip on Patrick’s, rhythmically squeezing it. Patrick’s breathing was getting faster and faster and eventually he couldn't hold back, thrusting his hips into David's hand slowly. He pulled David's head up staring intently into his eyes before pulling him into a kiss, moaning into his mouth as he came between them.

They stood there still until the water had nearly run cold, catching their breaths and enjoying the fact that after nearly a week of sickness, a sense of normalcy had been restored. Even if it was just jacking each other off in the shower. 

~~~~~~

As they slid under the covers and snuggled into each other, Patrick couldn’t resist one last tease, “So, was masturbating in the shower enough to get you through the night? Or do you think you need round two?”

David rolled his eyes as he pulled Patrick in closer. “Yes, I believe it will be sufficient. If you needed me to compliment your medical masturbation skills, Dr Brewer you should have just said so.”

“Oh that’s not it,” Patrick grinned as he pecked a kiss on David’s lips “I was just checking whether or not I should've put a plastic sheet down to protect the mattress tonight.”


End file.
